This woman wrote a touching blog about when she first found out she has ms.
After you read her blog this is what I wrote her:
Your story touched me deeply, I too remember walking out of my neurologist's office, down a long hall thinking I knew something was wrong, but the final revelation hits you smack dab in your middle. I spent my twenties at a thin I could eat everything size and I went through life as a beautiful woman, who could get herself hired, or any man that I wanted. Well when I was 53 at the height of my career, caring for disabled people, I ironically got MS and was forced to retire. i wasn't a happy person for the first year, took to counseling to stop the anger about why God would take away my life work. I used all my expertise and got all the wheelchairs, walkers, grab bars and ramps and set down to wait for the shoe to drop. Well, all the work stress had made me get steadily worse, progressive kind, my neurologist wrote a letter, about how he thought i would be wheelchair bound shortly. Well, when I finally quit the job, it took a year struggling with fatigue, the heat making me get vertigo and the feeling tired all the time. Well, I would have kept working although my counselor was asking "When are you going to let Diane quit that job" the 16 hour days was literally killing me. Well, it took a finally fall, where my back was so bad I was bedbound for 6 months. My loving mate, he took care of me, after he came home from work, he cooked and brought up a tray, he stood behind me in the shower holding me up so i could shower. It made us unbelievably close, closer. Well, guess what I am 60 and I haven't gotten worse, that's right after taking stress out of my life, My MS stabilized. I walk with canes, walker and sometimes use the wheelchair, for the air cushion I sit on, keeps my back from getting so bad i have to lie down. I got on a good pain me, which gave me my life back. But the skinny woman, well, I got fat, oh yes, as I wasn't as active as before. So i was the opposite of you < I was skinny and now had to adjust to being fat. I know how you feel, the self-esteem lowers, I wear clothes to hide the heaviness. But I got busy and started a twice a day work out. every morning, first thing I jump on my incumbent riding bike and ride 45 min or 8.2 miles, then up on the bed for weights, crunches and another 20 min. Then i swim every tue and Thursday, swimming a straight hour, laps non-stop. I am in the best physical shape I have ever been, I lost 16 lbs but need to lose 30 more but I am healthy. My bad vice is sugar.
So don't feel bad, you are who you are, MS will not define you after awhile. No really when I first got MS i thought i was going to die. But it has been bearable. But wait for it, here comes the good part, I was cleaning out my closets and found my old journals from when I first moved to Oregon and was working as a forester living in my tent doing timber inventory with six other people. Well as I sat chuckling, as the mostly men crew teased me relentlessly, i thought this would make a good book. And so I wrote three books, 'The Eve Chronicles" by Diane DeVillers, look it up on Amazon. Without getting MS I never would have had the time to write them. Without MS I never would have known how much my darling beloved loves me. He took up the slack, works longer hours and we kept the house which we both love, on Moon Mt. what a great name.
So darling, just put MS at the back of your mind, don't jinx yourself, and breathe, breathe, and be, be you. You are a child of the universe, perfect just the way you are.